there, in the dim light, singing,
carrying hearts in our mouths, bared of all,
no longer looking at each other but
seeking, searching, for a sacrifice worth offering.
finally turning in, I
plummeting like a stone to the bottom
of my guilt
covered in shame.
to accept this darkness that was me, filling me
so hard to accept that anything is over when I refuse to let go.
(It’s one thing to say you forgive
it’s another to say you forgive yourself)
There, clarity pooled
dragged out of my shadow
as guilt drained away, trickling, weakening
relaxed, let go
a toddling baby reaching for safety,
drowning in self, tossed by waves of pride,