maybe I’ll go for a run
and see how weak I am, how my feeble joints won’t hold.
maybe I’ll go to the pool
and remember that I can barely swim,
hiding the fact that I have to hold my nose underwater.
maybe I’ll play on a team
and think of all the times I got picked last
because I was the girl whose knees would lock and stick,
who’d fall to the ground crying because she couldn’t move.
maybe I’ll go play the guitar
and lament at how bad I am and put it away again, ashamed.
or maybe I’ll shut my mouth and stop whining
do what scares me,
stop comparing myself to other people,
and push past pain and fear to strength.