Is it wrong that I let others speak my mind?
though I am so unbelievably dumb – I would ask you again
to slap my face, but I cannot dictate precisely. What are these words that
my mind whispers? Even hinting at them
implies betrayal, but betrayal of what? of Whom?
are these shapes something worth mentioning, or
shall I still silently ponder,
in this spontaneous, aimless, underthought fashion?
Do you know what you have said or how it has been received?
Of course not. Never. We construct relations from that
which we choose to share, those facets
that roll forth when our die is tossed.
Even those who claim pure genuine expression as their own
are limited by their own tongues, which cannot
trace shapes in colour or even communicate some
internal form of unconsciousness:
We can’t explain our dreams in the morning.
Are we limited by intonation, inflection and implication?
quietly, my toes on a windscreen say otherwise
as we speak physically. I believe in hands reached out,
so I leave mine open-palmed and everything drops.
Perhaps, in utter black, we would see clearer
no longer attracted by these visual limits, but
borne on words alone, love fed outside of
all but the person. Perhaps then, honesty would be less trite.
In short, I am baffled by intimacy.
For that is really all we are – darkened blind figures reaching out, if we’re lucky
in a world we cannot comprehend. Logic will not love you,
Rational empiricism will not make you less alone.
These birds and bees restlessly flocking in your mind
must meet with similarity, or drown in the black.