one night on after a night off, it’s
so frustrating the way each of you check in check out
of my life, our relationship. “You can trust me”
“I’m here for you”, etcetera. You have my number. This
is supposed friendship and connection, supposedly
we are friends, yet when I turned
you down you walked away to find
someone who would say yes.
So when I am spent, broken, wrecked
and hurting so, so badly, I cannot know that you will be there. Many
are not interested, they say I am melodramatic and over-the-top.
“I just don’t know what to say”
as if there is a right answer to this question – Help me?
silence is a no. thanks for that, by the way.
Last night, I am called upon
to wipe up blood, clean cuts
wrap one up in bandages and make a cup of tea
because no one will respond. This
hyper-individualization of self expression makes
introspection a dirty word. Your selfishness
is cowardice, but of course
what you have to say is most important, most relevant, most true.
The point is, a semi-African girl will handle this
attempt at suicide willingly because
all we have is love and that is enough. God,
find us here and help me survive