left boot sole

this year-long rattle in my heel, finally free

oh, little stone! where did you come from?

did you chip off a Czech cobblestone? A Parisian stair?

Maybe you found me outside that coffee shop in Boston.

There’s a streak of green on your side – is it Viennese?

Perhaps it’s Guilford moss, or from the walk in the woods around Oxshott.

you have walked with me, far,

I wish I could put you back.

dear anna XI

I hope that you wake up every day

happy, ready to get up

just because of where you are.

I pray for you to have hope

in things which are not perfect,

that your future failure will be worth the growth.

My desire for you is to be whole joy all through

free to just be.


I have two words written on the back of my hand –

“AYONG LO.”  – “I AM HE.

What he said when he accepted me.

when he chose to stand up. Those words inspire me and move me

to stand up and be recognised for what I am and where I need to be.

Regardless of this, however, it seems that my diaphragm

has dropped out and I am melted,

hanging loosely in the frame of bones, my spine is slackened

and everyone says just pray. Just trust. Maybe

I am not spiritual enough, not a good enough

follower of God, maybe if I just knew

how to hear the voice of the spirit

or speak in tongues

or lie on the floor, wave my arms in prayer

maybe then I would be real enough to be recognised

by God?  I do not think this is true. I believe

in more than what we can do or understand, and

these words just cause me to sink lower, feel

more unacceptable and forgotten

am I more of a failure? I know you

mean to encourage me, but the dark

I am battling every day makes it harder

for me to hear you. Please have patience

with my weakness, or stop pretending

and let me curl into the floor

which is God’s heart, where I hear nothing

but the beat of truth.


thank you for being you.

you are the last one left that i can look straight in the eyes and just talk to

you bring out words i need to say

you hear things and see things in me that are really there, that are good

you have seen me for years

and understand when i need to have my fingers stirred in shape and color

i do not have to explain

we are just talking.

Inner Strength


If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills, 
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, 
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, 
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it, 
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,

If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, 
           through no fault of yours, something goes wrong, 
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment, 
If you can face the world without lies and deceit, 
If you can conquer tension without medical help, 
If you can relax without liquor, 
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs, 
If you can do all these things, 

Then you are probably the family dog.

Blindness/Modern Art

Last night, as some friends and I sat at dinner, the conversation turned to the various paintings that hung on the walls nearby. I was surprised by the deep degree of loathing that was expressed towards these works of art, primarily from individuals that had little to no knowledge or interest in any kind of painting. Finally, one of them leaned back and said, “I just HATE modern art.”


I stared at him in shock. My disbelief mistaken for offense, he apologized and tried to explain.

This is like a colorblind person saying they hate the color red. They don’t see it or understand it and aren’t trying to do so. They can’t see the various shades – magenta is red, ochre is red. There may be something within that huge category that they do not find appealing, but that doesn’t encompass all within it.

The whole purpose of modern art is throwing aside all traditions and presuppositions for the sake of experimentation. And some of those experiments are amazing. It’s taking control over the elements of art and creating absolutely whatever the artist has in mind. It is total and complete freedom of expression.

This is modern art:


This is modern art:


This is modern art:


This is modern art:


This is modern art:


This is modern art:

File:Paul Cézanne, Pyramid of Skulls, c. 1901.jpg

I’m not saying it’s all amazing. I’m not saying it’s all perfect. But it is BEAUTY, and the idea behind the works is freedom.

So please don’t write off modern art.