biology

repressed anxiety

takes the most unusual forms during stress.

I spent all of class wincing, jumping

every time the professor wrote on the board

the squeaking chalk said

that she was going to fingernail it

she was going to

every time, I was sure

she was going to scratch it

distanced hypothesizing

“poverty and death” said the classmate

self explanatory, the overused overwritten idea of something

never experienced completely known

to the point of cliche.

 –

I –  in whom these bitter texts

ring and resound like churchbells in my ribcage

painful, horrible truth

guilty of wealth, seeing that which is untouchably impoverished

– am incredulous that this hideous,

so close to my heart and home

is so easily exhausted when never encountered.

CCH 2013

as usual, we do not live eye-to-eye.

Everyone pulls out their technology and sits alone,

dicing, marring, rationalizing beauty into tiny pieces trying to Understand.

what you do not know: the quiet cloth is my dream

I glow with it, I grow in it, white-hot is the clarity in me.

Fear, the orangey-pink shapes that attacked me in the subway that night

were from your lips. And yet no one said anything.

Maybe that is why I have painted you all in vomit, for

we learned how to eat each other, but we could never

keep it down. All over the walls.

this time, we’re brushing to gold, raising spirit glasses

to our eyes and lips. To new beginnings.

you sit next to me in math

the way you see the world –

failing to plan like these all around us, happy

we are just taking each piece of life in turn

we are not of this land, we recognise the potted plants

when we see them. Transported, roots always with us

we love the sun as life.

We have been cooked into these other selves,

frozen and reheated

eaten up by them as plastic dinners

when our core is all organic,

full of the things they are searching for.