dear anna X

what are you like?

I am too close to see,

your fluid mosaic washes over my memory

 I cannot distinguish between failing and strength

you are so beautiful. All of you is beautiful.

Still delightfully marvelous as in childhood, red-blue

rich in yellow

only growing more lovely with time

I remember you in crayon, water, and glass

my rage always the Frog

to your wise, calm Toad.

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dear anna IX

aching, I fell

from a car-smashed wreck in a pile of glitter

and crawled, limping into the dark.

I begged to share your dark, to heal

just not alone. Silently, our hands met in concert and you

let me know without words that it was a good thing

I wasn’t dead.

dear anna VII

you with your piles of blond hair all wild,

evergreen eyes, you’re the one I wanted to find

when you woke me up, for my heart

falls just where your chest is.

You would have laughed to see me

stumbling, trying to dance today,

standing on the wrong feet

you’d make time for me, I know you would

because we read the same books

and you love Lana as much as she deserves

and you don’t get surprised when

I am covered in paint and crying.

high school (dear anna ii)

Dear Anna,

you are my favourite person on planet earth. That will most likely never change.

However, distance is stretching us to pieces,

hanging on our common threads as they slowly break, snapping quietly

falling to splashdown in the rough Atlantic waters.

It breaks me to hear

of the pressure you feel, the need

for conformity,

the same lies i remember wrecking myself over

being poured into your mind

in hallways, locker rooms, classes,

– it’s probably a good thing I’m not there

otherwise these kids would be walking around with broken jaws –

don’t let that stuff set and dry

in the fresh cerebellum that feeds your heart.

Give it a few more months, and

the sun will shine on both of us

we’ll sleep and dance and sing

and I will take care of you again.