another nightmare without meds

in that cave, I dreamed a dream

of learning,

that I went farther underground

searching for the truest music,

to carry my voice and lift me out

too late, it seemed

I was silently alone,

surrounded by pages of words

which babbled and said nothing.

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last night I toss and turn

did you know I dreamed of you

that the dead could speak to me,

beautiful icy-grey, they were afraid

so I dragged my sister from hell’s purgatory

with extension cords wrapped about her wrists

it took all our strength, we could have been trapped there too

she was free but still dead

her head lolled to the side in my hands

and I couldn’t even find her shadow.

I wandered our old neighborhood, you know,

found the looming house, all new

and searched for the old in it,

I wandered from room to staircase

and the wooden panels grew fuzzy, blurred in my eyes

I began to suspect I was asleep but pressed forward in the black

feeling nothing but the creak beneath my feet

hearing nothing but the desperate whispers of the dead,

their skirts spread like my mother’s wedding dress on the lawn

dreaming

bad things just keep happening

but why do we have to care?

 better off undead

¬†easy to pretend nothing’s going on,

stagger, groan, mumble,

zombierot

washedout

arms grasping

eyes dulled, flimsy films holding back thought

occasionally a stammered nothing falling off the tongue

this zombie is just tired of being dead.

(sometimes I wonder how many times I’ve offended & hurt people

and not known it.)