hold my feet

maybe you know the way we are falling

the way that I must sneak

with turned-in nails, cringing against

the wall of you. there is no loss

in long eyes – I read you every day,

splintering on door-sills and lintels. Do you know what fires

lap up the last? How can I forget?

it was meant as a joke

racism begins with ignorance, so

why is it an accepted excuse?

“I didn’t mean it/I didn’t know”
do NOT

remove the hurt, heal the wounds, hold the hearts

with a thoughtless joke old heartaches are broken

in haste, we waste

time could have said “this is a bad idea”, but no one asked

the point is, an issue is raised

and this is our chance to fight for the right side

get up, stand up already against

land of the free, free to be

(a little bit) racist?

are we focused

anger gets the best of me every time

the very best, my smile is drowned

raging, bitter, the best is eaten up and can’t be given,

best can’t be done tonight, sorry –

on impulse, I leap up and scream in faces instead,

dammit, again??

so hot the snow dies before me, whirling

clouds of it blind the air, we’re all shadows in the white,

all sound is muffled and dark, can’t even

slow down for a lie, they frost everyone’s hair and coats

because we’re all fine. Dissolve me in these words, reality is lost in layers

Small talk is small because it is little memories of nothing,

so I’ll force a small smile and try not to cryout hurt-bitter in front of everyone,

hard memories slam into me againagainagainagain –

the thudding refrain I never asked for this

but I don’t know how to tell you to stop

the wave of regretting humans washing over us all

just don’t make eye contact…