I have slowly and sadly fallen in love
with this mystery, this hollow self
gently punctured and bled out, gaping.
tuck your fingers into my painted palms, I know
I burn too hot/sandy, but I would clasp you
in this fiery ring. this is our disaster.
I have destroyed you, beautifully.
some people just leave
broken skin, broken bones,
but I did the breaking while you whispered
and steeled my heart. Me, endangered,
and you giving me bloody pages/poems, dark landline calls
and never forgiving the nothing I did.
maybe you know the way we are falling
the way that I must sneak
with turned-in nails, cringing against
the wall of you. there is no loss
in long eyes – I read you every day,
splintering on door-sills and lintels. Do you know what fires
lap up the last? How can I forget?
As usual, Ed Sheeran creates another ballad which climbs inside of your heart and makes it feel something against your will. If The Fault in Our Stars is anything like this song, I can’t wait for it.
I am going home tomorrow. Time for a Ugandan summer.
we shiver from a touch, withdraw
re-draw, hand always a second from holster to face
is this a standoff or a mirror? what are we scared of?
arms spread, not for embrace but grapple
keep them from getting in, keep them out
and yet, we find their imprints appear
like lint in our pockets.
the air here is heavy, dense with scent
branches sway gently, the emerald grass is silently lush
the back of my skirt flutters against my heels as I step
just the same as fifteen years ago, I am entranced
by fountains and flowers, the Chimes Tower and Eye of Water.
I, the fairy unicorn princess, traipse bare-footed
by gurgling stream, the rush-rush-still waterfall.
If my baby self saw this Me,
they would find it majestic. Even beautiful?
When is the light show? I must remember
what Grandma’s smile looked like
there is no wasted time
we can’t stop learning, especially in relationships
I will no longer mourn us.
I will stop racing and face the failure.
when our skulls collided
in the dark, too fast
both so desperately clumsy
happily awkward, but still
I saw your eye sockets hollow,
your zygomatic processes pronounced
over your stupid beard.
Time always got away from us, didn’t it?
I lost a contented five and a half hours, and left
always right. (stairsteps) You won everything
but me, I lost the peace of you.
I wouldn’t mind sand and salt
in my hair, which I imagine long and unkempt
loose about my shoulders, sticking
bare skin cool in pools of gathering water about my limbs
the sunlight gleams on my ocean, always setting, always rising
your voice elevates in pitch and I turn
the foamy white waves turning with me,
hair billowing, suspended in watery space,
the anger I was trying to let go of
returns in full force. I don’t want to hate,
so I will focus it, damn this table between us.
and the switch clicks off again, I am
somewhere drowning and you are still talking rivers of words at me
