walk down longwoods lane

the air here is heavy, dense with scent

branches sway gently, the emerald grass is silently lush

the back of my skirt flutters against my heels as I step

just the same as fifteen years ago, I am entranced

by fountains and flowers, the Chimes Tower and Eye of Water.

I, the fairy unicorn princess, traipse bare-footed

by gurgling stream, the rush-rush-still waterfall.

If my baby self saw this Me,

they would find it majestic. Even beautiful?

When is the light show? I must remember

what Grandma’s smile looked like

the bit of you that I took

when our skulls collided

in the dark, too fast

both so desperately clumsy

happily awkward, but still

I saw your eye sockets hollow,

your zygomatic processes pronounced

over your stupid beard.

Time always got away from us, didn’t it?

I lost a contented five and a half hours, and left

always right. (stairsteps) You won everything

but me, I lost the peace of you.

argument

I wouldn’t mind sand and salt

in my hair, which I imagine long and unkempt

loose about my shoulders, sticking

bare skin cool in pools of gathering water about my limbs

the sunlight gleams on my ocean, always setting, always rising

your voice elevates in pitch and I turn

the foamy white waves turning with me,

hair billowing, suspended in watery space,

the anger I was trying to let go of

returns in full force. I don’t want to hate,

so I will focus it, damn this table between us.

and the switch clicks off again, I am

somewhere drowning and you are still talking rivers of words at me